Wednesday, November 20, 2013

It Was Bound to Happen Sometime

I remember thinking that this would be a great title to a blog post after something happened at the house...or the girls said something.

Now. I cannot remember exactly what it was that made me think that.
Hmmmmm.
Something of significance happened. I'll keep thinking.
 Well, was it the line of questioning that started up after the question/statement,
 "Yeah...but where does the baby come from?"
 Possibly.

Or was it the note that Emily was handed by a little girl while sitting in Science class -- and the note said, "I'm not trying to be mean, but are you ever curious about your birthmother?

Check one of the following: yes, no, maybe"
 Emily's response, "Not really. Why do you ask?"

I work on teaching the girls how to respond to situations like this because they ARE bound to happen sometime in life, and when it does...no need to be flustered, afraid, or 'put upon'. It likely WILL catch them off guard, but it's good to have a standard framework from which to respond.

My goal has been to teach them they never have to feel as if they MUST answer a question of this sort...IF they don't want to. It's their choice. Say what you will, but always remember that it is your choice.

The advice I've given them and even role-played with them is - respond to a question with a turn-a-bout question. Heck. I've even done it to my own kids - and it's not a negative put down. It's a probing analysis to get to the root of w-h-y a comment is made or why someone wants to know and if they EVEN NEED to know.

I read an article along this line in Dear Abby - 100 years ago...and I never was a big Dear Abby column fan. I personally don't wanna hear what someone's sister-in-law did to aggravate their 2nd cousin on their mama's side of the family at Christmas dinner and what Abby's suggested call to action might be.

Drama.

Sometimes you just have to forgive people.

Anyhoo - the article in Dear Abby was about people asking very personal, imposing questions. For example...if someone who was not a close friend walked up to you and said, "How much money do you make a year?" Abby's advice (and good advice at that) was to merely look at them and question them with, "WHY would you ask someone such a personal question like that?

The response tends to turn the uneasiness of the situation around back to the other person.

Anyhoo - I think Emily handled her little "note passing" with great ease. I'm proud of her.

The other little girl - who has gotten in trouble often through the years - was reprimanded for writing the note IN CLASS while teaching was going on. In the distant past that little girl told Emily to shut up. Em said, "You can't tell me to shut up." The other girl said, "I just did."

BUT...I TRULY do not think the girl was trying to be mean - or maybe I'm wrong. Other adults in the building know her well and say she was being mean. I think possibly she is/was 100% curious as children will be.

I know the child...and her mother is not a present, effective influence in her life; therefore, she probably wonders how Em has managed to come off as a well-adjusted 5th grader.
So...It Was Bound to Happen Sometime.

It's all good.
Excited about Thanksgiving coming up.
We're going thru our listing of FUN FALL ACTIVITIES.
We've --
photographed deer and a full, harvest moon
collected leaves, placed mums outside the door.
collected pumpkins and also made healthy pumpkin muffins
read stories about little girls, Indians, and cranberries...and tasted fresh cranberries (connections, connections, connections)
snuggled with kittens in the bed under warm quilts and blankets that friends have made for us
spent time with Nanny Carol at church - eating Thanksgiving meal with saints gathered around the table

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Praise Him all creatures here below.
Praise Him above ye heavenly host.
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost."

AMEN!

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